Recently, I supported friends through the heartbreak of goodbye. They had imagined a full life together, and now this vision was being swiftly revoked, before their youngest would even start kindergarten. I visited and together we worked on drafting legacy letters. One of this friend’s deepest fears was his children not remembering him. As his… Continue reading Finding What Resonates: Trial and Error in Doula Work
I took my reflection walk in nature, and by "nature," I mean a large parking lot located across the street from where I've been staying during quarantine. It's one of the only places I can walk where I'm certain I won't run into anyone else, and though it's not the most romantic of locations, I… Continue reading The Walk of Grief
As doulas, we enter into our clients’ end-of-life and grief journeys as our(whole)selves. This includes not only kindness and patience, but also our conditioning and triggers as well. We are not empty vessels. We carry hushed reminders of past trauma, festering wounds, and unrecognized assumptions. We are not void of dynamic humanness—thankfully so. In truth,… Continue reading Whole Selves and Shadow Sides: A Balanced Doula
In memory of Nancy Hays Gurney, Jan 4, 1956 – May 3, 2005 15 years. Fifteen years since the world has seen your smirk . . . since I’ve felt your hug squeeze the breath out of me, your soft raspberry bathrobe against my cheek . . . since I’ve heard you say both my… Continue reading On Knowing Enough
Grief is our natural response to a meaningful loss. Some losses are heavier than others, yet they are all valid and real. It might be a change in daily activities, losing a role we have held, transitioning to an empty nest, divorce, retirement, or a death (among others). Healthy grieving can be quite intense, especially… Continue reading Weathering the STORM of Grief
